Hindsight: Forgiveness

Daily Prompt: Now that you’ve got some blogging experience under your belt, re-write your very first post.

This post was originally posted June 25, 2008.


I have been struggling with the concept of forgiveness for awhile. People generally consider me to be pretty laid back. I’m the one folk turn to when others are losing their heads. I rarely lose my temper and most of the time, I could care less what folk think about me or whether they approve of what I do or not. I just do me. . . you either deal with it or not. Your choice.

So, casual strangers rarely get under my skin, even acquaintances and work colleagues have to work extra hard to irritate me. You know that you are either family or a close, intimate friend to get any kind of strong emotional reaction out of me.  You’re so close that you know where the bodies are buried, which means that you know where I live!  So when someone close hurts me, man, it runs deep, hard and long. And unfortunately, it may take me some time to recover.

I know in my heart that it does me no good to hold on to my hurts and resentments. I know that God wants me to release them and move on. The bible says that we should forgive a brother seven times seventy, right?

But I have been asking God to help me to forgive some deep hurts.  I’m still holding on to junk and the only way that I’ve been able to maintain even a semblance of peace is to avoid the ones who have offended me.

Well, that’s okay then, right?

But am I really demonstrating forgiveness through avoidance? Or am I punishing both the person who offended me . . . and myself?  When I find myself easily mad or or injured by the smallest act, I start thinking that maybe I haven’t forgiven at all.

So, now what?

I pray.  Forgiveness is not designed for the other person, it’s for me.  It’s an opportunity free myself from my burdens.  The other party does not suffer because my feeling are hurt. My avoidance of them does not stop their lives one bit. It’s me, it’s for ME that I need to let this stuff go.

God is constant, never changing and always sustaining. I believe that when I fully accept this, forgiveness will come.

9 thoughts on “Hindsight: Forgiveness

  1. It’s hard to forgive sometimes. But yes, we can take the next best alternative which is to ignore it. Not the best solution. But there are things that we cannot forgive no matter how hard we try.

  2. Appreciate the gentle wording of this – wow a first post too. I think, for me, some of the old(er) hurts never disappear. There is a wound. I finally just learnt to say ‘I forgive’ even if it did not feel as if so, knowing God is the ultimate forgiver. I also had to learn to forgive myself. Take care.

    1. “I also had to learn to forgive myself.” Thank you for that, HappyFlower. This is sometimes the hardest lesson of all. Thanks for dropping by.

  3. Forgiveness is hard, and you’re right, it’s not for the benefit of the one who hurt you, it’s for you. I learned a long time ago that as long as I held on to unforgiveness, it was like being handcuffed to the person who damaged me 24/7, and every time I would think of the hurts committed against me, it was like ripping open a gaping wound again and again.

    When I forgave the one who hurt me, he lost the control he had over me, because I was no longer a victim. I was an overcomer. I think that’s why God wants us to forgive, so we can walk in victory, rather than being chained to the people who harm us. It sounds like you’re on your way to forgiveness, and when you ask your heavenly Father to help you forgive, He hears you, and He will give you that ability. (I know from experience) Many blessings to you, and what a great post! 🙂

    In the love of Jesus,

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