Daily Prompt: Never Say Never Again

Daily PromptTell us about a thing you’ll never write about.

I hate absolutes!

My nature is just oppositional enough to resist anything or anyone telling me what I will or won’t do . . . EVER!

My initial reaction to this prompt was to say no personal details and no politics.

However, I have a curious mind and at any given point ANYTHING could capture my imagination.  I’ve written personal details on my blog before and probably will do so again, as the moment dictates.    In fact, I’m being quite personal right now, revealing to you my less-than-stellar stubborn streak and oppositional nature.

I avoid discussions about politics for a variety of reasons.   Instead, I choose to express my beliefs and convictions in a poll booth.  I don’t have to prove myself to anyone and I am a champion of free will.

So, what is the thing I would NEVER write about?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

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Gardenias

Daily Prompt:  You receive a gift that is bittersweet and makes you nostalgic. What is it?

I rolled from our bed, head throbbing, throat dry.  I struggled to open an eye.

Eight am.  Overslept again.

The past couple days have been a real struggle.  Let me stop lying . . . at least to myself.  It’s been weeks, no . . . months.  How am I supposed to do this? To get motivated. To face the day.

Finally, two eyes open.  A glance at the What Happens in Vegas . . . wall calendar explained it all.

Your birthday.

I nearly tripped over your wheelchair in my rush for the bathroom.  So caught up in the minutiae of death that the celebration of your life had escaped me.

Not quite.

You’d been all over my mellow yellow and purple dreamscape, taunting me with your smiles, teasing with your touch, your tantalizing scent.

Who was to blame when the record scratched and the purple bleached to screeching red? Baby James’ sweet dreams and flying machine in pieces on the ground.

Finally at the office.  I pretend not to see the side-eyed glares from my co-workers or the point glance at the clock from my boss.

I’d no sooner dropped my purse in the drawer when there was a knock at the door.  Karen from the front desk stood there, arms filled with a vase of gardenias.

The sweet scent quickly filled the small office.  I flushed with the joy, purity and love that radiated from each bloom.  I reached out, throat dry, eyes already filling with tears.  It could be no one else.

“The florist just delivered these,” she said.  “There’s a note.”

I waited until she moved out of the doorway.  I fell heavily into the chair and stared at your messy scrawl, really little more than chicken scratch.  I hadn’t seen it in over a year, so precious.

It’s my birthday and I want to remind you how much I love you.  There was nothing . . . barring the will of God that could have taken me away from you.  I know you’re hurting . . .  I know you.  You won’t let anyone help.  You won’t let anyone in.  But you’re suffering, Nyomi. 

And you better stop!

As long as you love me, we are one.  Though I’m physically gone,  we’ll be together again soon enough.  I can’t rest knowing that you’re wasting away.  It’s my birthday so do this one thing for me: 

Live.”

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Missing You

Daily Prompt:  Feed Your Senses

Write down the first sight, sound, smell, and sensation you experienced on waking up today. Pick the one you’re most drawn to, and write.

 

The annoying and extremely loud 5 am klaxon of an alarm clock that I stupidly forgot to disengage the night before, yanked me from a warm and sensuous place.  Some Saturday!  Heck it’s not even light outside.

Eye glasses clattered, earrings tingled merrily and the lamp tumbled as I made a blind man search of for the clock.

Blessed silence.

I relaxed back onto the mattress.  Strong arms reached over and pulled me close.  Warm breath nuzzled my neck.  My eyes closed in bliss.

Hours later, the mid morning sun penetrated the blinds.  The pitter-patter of canine paws on hardwood danced clearly from the other room, followed by an urgent chorus of whines.  Patience expended and bladder full.  Puleeze get up, mommy!

Your side of the bed is still empty . . .

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Daily Prompt: I’m a believer – Shrek

Daily PromptWhat song is stuck in your head (or on permanent rotation in your CD  or MP3 player) these days? Why does it speak to you?

This is an easy one:  “I’m a Believer” by Smash Mouth.  The one featured in the movie Shrek (2001), not necessarily the version done by The Monkeys.

My 11 year old son will tell you that he hears me singing, humming, drumming or dancing to this song at least once every day.

Seriously.  EVERY DAY.

Don’t ask me why but it has been in my head since 2001, when most of us fell in love with the stinky ogre.

But actually, I think the real reason this song has set up roots in my brain is that it is tied to so many wonderful memories.

My son was born that year.   The following year, when  I guess he would’ve been about 11 months old, two of my nieces (they would have been 6 and 12 respectively) visited us in Florida for the summer.  We had such a great time.  Those girls, (they’re young women now who would probably roll their eyes at me for recounting this story), hold the keys to my heart.

That year had been so stressful.  So many transitions.  Separation from family.  Having them there . . . stabilized me, for lack of a better word.  Coming home to the three of them was like entering an oasis in the middle of a storm.

Anyway, we went to a second run showing of “Shrek”.

Omigoodness!

My almost one-year old immediately was dubbed “Lord Farquaad”.  The whole household had memorized the soundtrack and anytime any of us started singing, our little “Lord Farquaad”, started bouncing and giggling wildly.  He could’ve been in the middle of a full-fledged rant and let someone start “On the Road Again” or the “Duloc” song, and tears immediately dried up and the dancing began.

That song is associated with love, good times and freedom from stress.

Hearing this song in what seems to be now permanent rotation is, I suppose, my sub-conscious attempts to remind me of those times.  When I’m tempted to get overwhelmed by burdens, my brain reminds me that it’s time to start . . .

BOUNCING!

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Sunday Morning Musings: Hold Fast

I had a lesson this week.  Well, actually, it’s been going on for over a month.  I tend to be a bit hard headed, so it took awhile for the take-home message to stick but I finally got it.

Loud and clear.

Hold fast.

A preacher once said that when things around you seem to be falling apart, when you feel blocked in, and have nowhere to turn, instead of fighting back, that’s the time to focus and narrow all of your efforts on God. The chaos is nothing more than the devil trying to distract you from a blessing.

Hold on.

So, for the past month or so, there’ve been problems in my home, my job, my finances . . . my art.  As the man said, everywhere I looked there was confusion and pending doom.  There seemed to be no place for me.

No peace.

He’s coming.

But I prayed.  I talked it out. I figured.  I kept writing.

Crying in the dark and then getting up in the morning, girded in my big girl panties, strong in the belief, the knowledge that though things are dark now, joy will come in the morning.  This too will past.

And it did.

In the time it takes for a soap bubble to pop, peace returned to me.  Family crisis – resolving.  Financial crisis – averted.  Job issues?  Well, we’re still working that one out but it’s past the crisis point.

My art?  God work me up about 4 am with the solution to a structural problem I’ve been struggling with in my current WIP for the past month.  Words are flowing again like water.

We all struggle.  Life happens.  But this I know . . . we don’t have to deal with it alone.

Hold fast.

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It’s all shit, until it isn’t.

I had a recent conversation with an acquaintance that I hadn’t seen in awhile.  She asked if I’d been accepted into the VONA workshop and if so, what did I learn.

I went into this excited rant about how the experience was life changing, life affirming . . . the BEST experience of my life, blah, blah, blah, second only to the day that I brought home my son.  The workshop gave me exactly what I needed and more.

“Well, what was so good about it?” she asked.

She stumped me.  If I’d said those words to the ten other people in the workshop with me, they would know immediately and EXACTLY what I meant.  It’s very difficult to express that experience to someone outside of it without making it sound trite or exploitative.

“It was very emotional,” I said.

Yes that’s true, but the folk who read this and know me well know that it doesn’t take much for me to turn on the waterworks.  No, it was more than the fact that Chris Abani made us cry.  He was trying to get us to understand that in order to create emotional resonance within our readers, we first need to connect to our genuine, “real” selves.

Good writers who aspire to become great writers must get past the “fake suffering” as Chris called it, or neuroses, and connect with real, honest, emotion, to write with sensory details, not exposition.  He provided a whole new depth to the phrase ‘show, don’t tell.’   I didn’t quite get it then and I’m still working to explain it to myself but I’m coming to understand that I can no longer just report or be an observer to my story.  I am a PART of the story.  Because I am the story.

I write genre fiction: mysteries, thrillers.  My stories aren’t personal, I’m not working through past hurts or crises, they’re not memoirs, I argued.  My stories are about a bunch of people who come to visit me in my head, and who bug and bug me until I put their stories down in print.

Here’s what Aleksandar Hemon, the MacArthur “Genius” on willful delusions, the ego’s limit, and the stories we tell to make sense of experience”  says about the matter:

You devise ways to tell a story that complies with your sensibility. Style and method are really extensions of your present sensibility. The beauty of literature—also its limit—is that it is inescapably personal, even if you’re writing science fiction. Even if your story takes place on a different planet, it comes out of your personality, your personal experience, your sensibilities, your interests, your passions, the whole of you. Even if you tried to extinguish your personality, what is left in the story will reflect it, perhaps by its negation. Our lives provide the bricks from which we build these cathedrals.

When I think over everything I’ve written up to this point, I recognize bits and pieces of me.  I see the things I want to express to the world, the parts that I want you to see but am afraid  or too shy to express directly.  Now imagine if I wrote in a way that was deliberate and intentional?

Chris Abani wrote this article this week in honor of the recent death of Chinua Achebe, a man he calls “our living ancestor”.  It starts this way:

It is five a.m. and for some reason I have awakened and cannot sleep. I pace around my apartment in the cold California dawn. I brew coffee and sit sipping in the kitchen watching the sun come up over my neighbor’s house. I don’t know why I feel so uneasy. I always have this feeling, this waking from deep sleep to unease, when someone I know passes away. Then the call comes from my brother—Chinua Achebe has died.  –Chris Abani

I am sad to say that prior to his death, I was unfamiliar with Chinua Achebe or his contribution to literature.  I plan to rectify that soon.   I didn’t know him so I didn’t have a personal stake in his loss.   Members of my VONA family posted various tributes, obituaries on our Facebook page and  I scanned the articles, only because my friends recommended them.

However, after reading this evocative piece, I felt his grief and then experienced some of my own.   There once was a man, a brilliant man, who fought through trials, oppression, poverty, just to make his voice heard and then when he spoke, it was beautiful.  I grieve for the lost opportunity.  This tribute shook me from my position as distant observer.  Mr Achebe was real now and someone I needed to know.

I failed to communicate this point to my friend, so I’m going to give it a try here:  writing is personal, regardless of genre and it comes from an intimate place.  If we are unaware of ourselves, the things that drive us, our motivations, our strengths and weaknesses, if we fail to look closely at the world around us and recognize our personal attachment to it, we risk failing to connect with readers and risk producing works that are flat, passive.

More importantly, I think, is that this becoming is a process.  We work at it, we learn, we practice, we grow, we fail, we get up and keep working at it.  We write.  That’s what we do.

But there’s a very simple rule of writing: it’s all shit, until it isn’t. Steady, incremental improvement does not work in art. Some people wake up one morning and they write a fucking great book. Or they write shit for twenty years and somehow, miraculously, one day, because they have made all the mistakes they could have made writing shit, they write something that contains no mistakes. It’s fucking perfect.  –Aleksandar Hemon

So, yeah, eleven professional adults — or I probably should say twelve because Chris was crying too — we sat in a three day workshop together and we cried.  We cried because we recognized that we had finally taken our first step towards becoming.

Now I’ve got to get back to working on my shit.

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Bone of Contention – African American Interests

Daily Prompt:  Pick a contentious issue about which you care deeply — it could be the same-sex marriage debate, or just a disagreement you’re having with a friend. Write a post defending the opposite position, and then reflect on what it was like to do that.

Let me start this post off by saying that most of all, I love bookstores.  E-books are convenient in a pinch, but there is nothing like browsing through a bookstore, discovering new treasures, the smell of the pages, the crackle of new leaves, the velvet smoothness of the covers . . .

Okay, so you get it, I love bookstores.  So, this particular rant is not against bookstores per se but against the policy that some bookstores practice.

The “African-American Interests” section.

I visited a local bookstore yesterday to attend a book signing and reading for several local authors.  Once that was over, I figured to browse through the shelves . . . just to check and see if there had been any books published with a similar theme and/or content to my as-yet-unpubbed novel.  Research.

Anyway, I happened upon the “African-American Interests” section.  Authors of all other cultural and ethnic groups are organized in the store by their work, their product, Fiction/Non-fiction and Genre.

African-American authors are identified by their race.

Works by Toni Morrison, Tayari Jones, Countee Cullen and Langston Hughes are hugged up right next to “I Love Me Some Big Black Dick” and “Where’s My Money, Bitch?”

And if that isn’t bad enough, the books appeared to have been just thrown up on the shelves in no real order that I could discern, so you pretty much had to examine the whole shelf to pick out any particular book.

In 21st century America, even here in the deep south, is there a need for the “African-American Interest” section?

The prompt requires me to defend this practice, so here goes:

1.  if a customer just wants to read works by AA authors, this practice allows easier access.  Kind of like a Wal-Mart experience; one stop shopping.

2.  perhaps store managers have the intention to display not only the wealth of published African-American authors but to display the diversity of their talents and interests as well.

One final note:  this practice may have been (emphasis on MAY)  a needed and acceptable practice 20 or 30 years ago, but I’m having trouble understanding how it can be justified now.

What do you think?

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